Marital Bliss

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate
for an hour.'

Husband : 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
------------------------------------------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife : 'Yes and no.'
=========================================================
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look
at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how incredible I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem
can there be greater than this one?'
====================================================================
Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries
or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
======================================================================
Son: 'Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me
to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
=======================================================================
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
============================================================================
Father to son after exam: ‘Let me see your report card.'

Son: 'My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.'
=============================================================================
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
=============================================================================
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty
face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of
humor.'